Just Between You and Me

Happy Birthday to Lou Gramm, a man who many say has the best voice in rock and roll (I agree). And did you know the secrets behind his incredible songwriting? I found out the hard way.

When I found out it was Lou’s birthday, I’d coincidentally had my Lou Gramm playlist on Repeat for more than week. You know how a song can bring you right back to the time when you first heard it? Lou Gramm and Foreigner does that for me.

Foreigner 4 was the first album I bought for myself, in 1981. I was 13 and had scraped together some babysitting money. (Hey, that dollar an hour adds up.) There were classic songs on the album – Juke Box Hero, Waiting for A Girl Like You, Urgent—but my favorite song by far was Break It Up. It goes like this…wait for it…

I don’t want to break it up / Why do we have to break it up / Never ever want to break it up oh no / I only wanna make it up tonight

Deep lyrics, huh? I loved the song despite never having broken up with someone–probably because I’d never gone out with someone in the first place.

I then found out that Lou was from my hometown, Rochester, New York. This news floored me. Who the heck is from Rochester? I fantasized that someday Lou and I would cross paths. I just knew it.

I was right, but it was a bit odd how our meeting came to pass, and how I found out the secrets behind his songwriting, and songwriting in general.

Fast forward. When I was just out of college, I joined a local village band as their snare drummer. I didn’t know any of my bandmates’ names until the holiday concert, where our names were published in a program.

As I waited for the show to start, I set my drumsticks down and scanned down the list. In “Trumpets,” I saw a “Ben Grammatico.” Hmm. I knew that was Lou Gramm’s real name, shortened for show biz.

I leaned over the snare, pushed the music stands apart and asked, “Which one of you is Ben?”

Ben turned out to be the one who had been sitting directly in front of my snare all these months. He turned to me and smiled. I said, “Hey, Ben, I see in the program that your last name is Grammatico. Would you happen to be related to Lou?”

Ben replied, “Yes. He’s my son!”

My heart skipped a beat.

Ben continued, “Yeah, Lou comes to a lot of our concerts. He was supposed to be here today, but he had to go to New York to record with Foreigner.”

i was short of breath.

Ben replied, “You know, Lou was a drummer before he had to drop it to focus on lead vocals. When he came to see our band this summer, he commented to me that you were a good drummer.”

I was thrilled.

And desperate to know more about the real Lou.

At our next rehearsal, I pulled Ben aside. “Ben, I have a question. I love Lou’s solo albums. So in the song ‘Midnight Blue,”’ the lyrics are, ‘I remember what my father said / He said son, life is simple / It’s either cherry red / or Midnight Blue.’ Did you really say that?”

He looked at me quizzically. “Jane, I have no idea what you are talking about. I never said that to him.”

What? So people just make song lyrics up willy nilly? What the what? This was a revelation. My mind spun.

When he wrote “Hot Blooded,” did Lou really “have a fever of 103,” or was his forehead just slightly warm, the kind where you still have to go to school?

Did Lou really “…Want To Know What Love Is,” or did he just not give a crap?

In “Urgent,” was there really no emergency and Lou could have just gotten around to it whenever he felt like it?

I ended up meeting Lou at our next concert. As we shook hands and I blabbed on about how I was his BIGGEST FAN, SERIOUSLY, he likely suppressed his concern over my mental stability and generously covered my hand with his other hand affectionately as he said, “Jane, I’m so glad to meet you.” His hand lingered over mine. I’ll never forget it. It was very genuine.

Over the years I’ve run into him now and then. A sweet, sincere man. Whenever I see him, he at least pretends to remember me.

Happy Birthday to the best voice and heart in rock and roll, Lou Gramm! Now please excuse me while I go crank up “Feels Like The First Time” (it probably felt like the second time, but that’s OK).